One True Friend
by ollie bear
Summary: Missing Scene Survival


**Author's Note: **I believe people are put into our lives for specific reasons. And although the reason may not be clear at the time, our lives are forever changed.

This story is a missing scene of sorts from "Survival", but it also the story of how a friendship was developed.

I want to thank Becky for "holding my hand" while I wrote this and for writing two wonderful newspaper articles included in this story.

This story is dedicated to B.B. and H.H. Thanks for always being there.

_We cannot tell the exact moment a friendship is formed; as in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over; so in a series of kindnesses, there is at last one that makes the heart run over._ _(Samuel Johnson)_

**October 1975**

**Starsky**

The second I heard the call that the missing officer had been found, and was alive, I knew.

As I raced to Hutch and saw the needle marks on his arm and the agony on his face I prayed for empathic abilities that would allow me to absorb his suffering and make it my own.

That's when I knew I loved Hutch more than myself and there was nothing that I wouldn't do to protect him.

**One True Friend**

Ollie Bear

_I always thought you were the best  
I guess I always will  
I always felt that we were blessed  
And I feel that way still  
Sometimes we took the hard road  
But we always saw it through  
If I had only one friend left  
I'd want it to be you _**-Dan Seals-**

**February 1977**

The fluorescent light over the hospital bed cast an eerie glow on the unconscious patient. A feeling of despair shrouded the lone figure that stood in the doorway. He was terrified of the sights and sounds of the room before him.

The whish of the respirator and the steady beep of the heart monitor. The white bandages tightly wrapping broken ribs. A plaster cast encasing a leg broken in three places. Chest, arms, and face were roadmap of bruises, cuts and stitches. Snaking from the abused body were numerous tubes leading to IV bottles, a catheter bag and a chest drainage tube.

Cautiously the dark haired man made his way over to the bed. With tear filled eyes, Starsky slowly entwined the fingers of his left hand with the limp, cold fingers of Hutch's and with his right hand he placed a cool cloth on the warm, fevered head of his best friend.

Could God have been so cruel as to have allowed the blonde to survive two days of hell, trapped under his car, only to die once rescued?

Starsky relived that bittersweet moment of finding his friend. So sure that he would not find Hutch alive, much less conscious, he had put no thought into the words he had spoken. The last conscious words the injured man had heard were not words of comfort, but words that had no meaning. Words that held no conviction that he was now safe and most importantly words that did not let him know he was loved by the one kneeling next to him.

"We made it partner" …words of relief rather than words of how he truly felt about Hutch.

Suddenly the brunet was overcome with uncertainty as he realized this was not the first time he had used the word "we" so freely. Did he really have the right to assume that Hutch felt the same way about their friendship…that two really was one? Would he be given the chance to find out?

Dobey had told Stasrky that someone would be sent to clean out the blondes' car, but Starsky knew this was a task for him alone. Who else would know the value Hutch placed on a restaurant receipt or even an old candy wrapper? What looked like junk to most was more than likely a treasure to the surprisingly nostalgic blonde.

No amount of mental readiness prepared him for the sight of Hutch's car as it lay ready to be demolished at the scrap yard. The LTD was unrecognizable as the roof had totally collapsed onto the cars seats and shattered glass from the windshield covered the floor. There were no fenders left and all of the cars lights were completely busted. Even the steering wheel was twisted and shoved up into the dashboard.

As disturbing as the wreckage was, the sight of his best friends blood on the roof as well as bits of blonde hair imbedded in the drivers' side door caused Starsky to once again wonder how anyone survived…how anyone would survive after being tossed around in the battered car.

Shakily he approached the car, tenderly touching the wreckage as if it were an effigy of his friend, beaten and bruised, struggling to survive. Only the car had lost its battle.

Shuddering at the morbid thoughts, Starsky got back to the task at hand. As he searched through Hutch's car, filling up a cardboard box, he felt like an intruder into the blonde's personal life. Although he often poked fun at the blonde's cleaning habits, he knew each scrap of paper, Styrofoam cup and bit of loose change held a special meaning for his friend. The car was akin to a private journal with actual items rather than words.

Just as he was about to walk away, he checked one last time under the seats and that's when he found an item that had him quite bewildered… a well worn, envelope simply marked _Courage._ Cautiously he opened the envelope to peer at its contents just as the wrecking yard owner appeared telling Starsky it was closing time. Starsky reluctantly stepped aside, clutching the treasure to his chest.

A sense of loss shrouded him as he left to go back to the hospital, leaving Hutch's battered car to be euthanized by the enormous crusher. Along with the feeling of loss came guilt. Yes, he had always bugged Hutch about his choice in cars, yet this very car had saved the blonde's life…shielding him from an otherwise certain death. Never again would he question the blonde's instincts when it came to his choice of cars. With any luck, they would be able to locate a replica of the squash; although he was doubtful another existed. It was indeed one of a kind.

While thankful Hutch's condition had not worsened, Starsky was dismayed that it had not improved either. Seeing the condition of the LTD had made him even more anxious to tell the blonde how he felt about him. This time death had come too close. Pulling Hutch's hand into his own, he placed their intertwined fingers over his own heart hoping if he concentrated enough; the blonde could feel the love beating therein.

Soon the events of the last few days took their toll and with a barely suppressed yawn, Starsky settled into the lounge chair so thoughtfully brought in by the nursing staff. While he would love to indulge in a nap his investigative nature took over as he picked up the envelope he had found in Hutch's car and pulled out its contents… handwritten letters as well as newspaper clippings.

**Starsky,**

**I usually find it better to express myself on paper rather than in person. Call it the coward's way out, but I am not good with confrontation.**

**So here goes. Damn! Couldn't you tell I didn't want you around? Why couldn't you have just left me alone? I vowed after Van, no one, I mean no one would get close to me again. I will not allow myself to go through** **all that hurt again. I have come to the conclusion it does not pay to be happy…I always end up getting hurt when the person I love leaves me. You see I believe in loving with everything I've got. Well no more. Better to be alone…at least I don't get hurt that way.**

**Just because you are my partner and I trust you to watch my back, does not give you the right to "take care" of me. Sure as hell does not give you the right to tell me everything will be all right. How do you know how I feel? How do you know whether or not I still crave heroin and would almost sell my soul for a needle full? **

**Oh and the look you gave me…I'll never forget that. The look of disgust in your eyes was thinly disguised with a look of pity. Actually I am not sure which is worse…either way all I am is a junkie. Once a junkie, always a junkie. The only reason you wanted to "clean me up" in private was so you wouldn't look bad. I know I wouldn't want to be partnered with a piece of disgusting crap such as myself.**

**I must be your newest "project". Feels like you have to save me from the mean city and even from myself. Well I have news for you…I don't need your damn help now or in the future. We are partners. We work together. Nothing more. I have no need for compassion or for friends.**

**The incident at Giovanni's was the proverbial last straw. The only reason I kept this damn article from the newspaper was to reaffirm my belief that I cannot and will not depend on anyone but myself.**

**So now you know where I stand. If you want to request a new partner, hell that's fine with me. I can work with anyone as long as they do not try and change who I am and make me feel something I don't.**

Bay City Chronicle

December 19, 1975

By: Beth Arbie

**Giovanni's Turned Upside Down by Hit Men Out to Stop Mob Boss, Vic Monty.**

Among the diners were two off duty police detectives, Sergeant Ken Hutchinson and Sergeant David Starsky. They were there only to relax after a long day. But Ken Hutchinson would be the reason this frightening ordeal ended with very little bloodshed. **Relax my ass. The only reason I was there was to shut you up. I figured going out to eat at midnight in the middle of a thunderstorm was better than riding around with a partner who would be pouting for a week.**

With no concern for his own safety, Detective Hutchinson stood up to the hit men in order to administer what first aid he could to keep his partner safe. **What the hell was I supposed to do? Leave you on the floor to bleed to death? I did what any good partner would do and nothing more. **

Theresa gave high praise to Hutchinson's fast thinking and determination to save everyone from certain death.

"Ken was so brave the whole time. He didn't need to be concerned with anyone else but his partner. David was badly injured and needed constant care. I tried to help but it seems the two detectives trusted each other so much that David could only relax when he knew Ken was near. **Trust? You probably wanted to make sure I had not abandoned you…feeling a bit guilty for dragging me there.**

It is also known that even though Detective Starsky was wounded, he did what he could to help his partner by creating a diversion at one point. These two men work well together and bring out the best in each other. **You did not do it for me. After all you are a cop too…injured or not, you were just doing your job.**

Starsky could feel Hutch's eyes on him, but could not trust himself to look at him as he shoved the papers back into the envelope. Instead of feeling relief that his friend was now conscious all he could do was bolt out of the hospital and into the dark night. Had he taken a moment to look back he would have seen Hutch struggling to reach towards him with a tear streaming down his face.

He made it as far as his car when he let the feeling of disbelief wash over him. _Was this how Hutch really felt? What did all this mean? Had the last year or so of his life been a lie? Had he lost his best friend…had he even had a best friend?_

Too many questions remained unanswered as the brunet shakily reread the contents of the envelope in hopes of finding answers. What he did find were pages he had previously overlooked…pages that answered his questions in ways he did not think possible.

_"A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself."_

Police Blotter

By Beth Arbie

**Local police activity:**

... Also a local fugitive was killed when police detectives David Starsky and Ken Hutchinson cornered Vic Bellamy. The detectives followed Bellamy to the rooftop of a motel known for harboring criminals. He was wanted for questioning regarding a possible connection with Professor Jennings, a teacher at the University. The police department had no statement available regarding the alleged association of Professor.

**This damn article makes it sound like we were just two cops doing their job. There is no mention of how you were so quick to offer your life for mine. How you were willing to die so that I might live. Oh you brushed it off saying Bellamy would have killed you anyway. Even though that may have been true, I know that was not running through your mind when you pulled the trigger. At that point in time you were only thinking about me.**

**Starsky, one of the many things I admire about you is your ability to trust and to love so unconditionally. You have the ability to put everyone before yourself and for some unknown reason you always put my safety and well being before your own. For some time now I thought it was all in the line of duty…you were just being a good partner, but now I know it goes way beyond that. You truly love me. Not love in the sense of being in love, but in the sense of caring more about me than you do yourself. That scares me. I cannot reciprocate. Am I being fair to you? Because honestly I do not think I can ever love another human being again and I certainly do not think I could willingly die for someone else…not even you.**

"_It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know_ _how you feel."(Author Unknown)_ Then three simple words changed me:" Where is Starsky?" When I read that note and then saw your name in blood, I felt as though a part of me had died….the best part of me. I have a tendency to push away the ones who care about me the most. I guess I feel if I put a barrier between the world and myself then I won't be hurt. But I have come to the realization you also protect me from hurt. Not just physical, but emotional as well. Why else would you put your job, your life and our friendship on the line? Starsky you are my best friend .No longer is it you and I, but we. To paraphrase Aristotle…We are two souls dwelling in one body. I love you and I thank you for showing me what love is. Starsky hurriedly made his way back to Hutch's room, pausing at the doorway. This time there was no respirator to frighten him. His own guilt and shame took care of that. _How could he have walked out on Hutch? How could he have ever doubted Hutch's friendship?_ Hesitantly he walked over to the sleeping blonde and instinctively reached out to hold the hand that was as familiar to him as his own. Immediately Hutch's eyes opened and met his. Suddenly no words were needed. There was nothing to forgive. Both knew. Two bodies. One soul. Not just me and thee…but we. 

_True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity, before it is entitled to the appellation. --__ George Washington_


End file.
